1. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
2. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
3. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
4. My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.
5. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
6. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
7. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
8. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
9. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
10. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.